Friday, December 31, 2004

I keep looking up awaiting your return...

So Joshua had to leave for his government paied vacation... I was realy sad the past few weeks and had thought I had cried all the tears I had to cry... alas, not so.
I can't really get rid of the image of him waving to me before he walked out to his plane and mouthing the words "I love you" before he turned. The line of soldier walking seemed to be forever long and endless. The sadness in the room was overwhelming, and even people who thought they were all out of tears, like myself, couldn't help but lose it. I did manage not to sob to him really, but as he walked away I felt like my heart was breaking. Right now I am feeling a bit down. I think I will for about a year! lol. But then at other times I feel better and I know I ill be alright. I know we can do this and I have nothing but faith in us. Our relationship is solid and hey, I have a wedding to plan to take up my time! lol.
I did feel bad for the families who were there... the wives with babies and the ones with children in general. How rough. One of JOsh's soldiers has a little baby that just turned 4 months old and she still had to deploy. She was really having a lot of trouble. So was dad. The first year of her little girl's life, mommy will not be there. man.
What these soldiers give up for their country never ceases to amaze me. Seeing the pain that it is causing for them to leave their loved ones and everyone they know... whew.
This has really put the army into perspective for Joshua too. Before he left he did say "I will never do this again." When knows if that is true or not, but it was really hard on him too. Eddie really misses him and is really sad, you can tell. He cried himself to sleep last night. :( I finally got up and sat with him, but then of course I start to cry too so we just feed each other's misery! lol. oh, me and my puppy.

well, that is all for now. Will write more later.

posted by Kellie @ 3:06 PM |


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