Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Whats the buzz... tell me whats a happenin?

So you know that feeling that you get when something is up with your boyfriend or girlfriend but when you ask they tell you there is nothing wrong. So then you find yourself questioning if A) you are thinking there is something wrong and it is all in YOUR head... or the dreaded B) there is something wrong... and it's wrong enough that they dont want to tell you...


I hate that feeling.

I hate feeling like I am making up something in my head, but I really hope thats the issue... I dont know what on earth could have happened in the last 3 days that could have actually caused issues... other than the fact that I fell off of my no-drinking wagon and thats always a treat for the other person I am with... lol.

I dont know.

I wish I did.

I hate this feeling.
posted by Kellie @ 6:51 PM | 0 spread the gossip

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

if you're happy and you know it...

I am so happy my baby is home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by Kellie @ 8:49 PM | 0 spread the gossip

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

I should be sleepin'

Alice came to a fork in the road.
"Which road do I take?' She asked.
"Where do you want to go?" responded the cheshire cat.
"I don't know." Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "It doesn't matter."


i just like that little blurp. Anyways so I took one of the pills that the doc gave me and it made me LOOPY. Lord. I felt like I was moving in slow mo. So I dont believe I will be taking anymore of those little sweeties. They made me tired so I went to bed but apparently the sleepiness does not last because I woke up at 5 and couldn't get back to sleep. blech.
anyways so I thought I would post since I am all ready for work and definitely not going anytime soon.


posted by Kellie @ 6:35 AM | 0 spread the gossip

Sunday, August 22, 2004

with nothing but a t-shirt on...

so yeah I definitely realized today I am obsessed with Jessica Simpson. I think I have gotten over my Britany obession completely and moved on.
Lord she cracks me up too.

I was talking with Christen about this and we actually had quite the long conversation... all over Britany vs Jessica vs Christina.

God I am pathetic.
Anyways, just had to share that with the world. and by world I guess I mean anyone who reads this. so i guess I mean taylor.

lol.

i need a drink. which is funny since i don't drink anymore. I did buy a bottle of wine the other day when i was feeling like shit. which was a mistake, duh, but it has sat in the refridgerator. Amazingly enough I haven't even been that tempted by it. crazy huh? So I figure perhaps I will fall off the wagon for a night when my baby comes home! We shall see.

anyways, thats all for now!
posted by Kellie @ 5:48 PM | 1 spread the gossip

Saturday, August 21, 2004

how she is

not sure why
i should think of her.
why i try.
why i want to know
where she is...
who's she with...
what's she doing...
and for some reason
i don't just ask.
i wait.
as if i am going to hear
something.
anything.
even just to say "hi"
"how are you"
"whats new"
i dont know whats wrong with me.
i dont know why i
continue to think about it.
or about her.
i know she doesn't care.
or rather she doesnt know
how much i would love to hear just a word.
instead here i sit
wondering
everyday
how
she
is.
posted by Kellie @ 5:36 PM | 0 spread the gossip

Thursday, August 19, 2004

There's something about you...

So I just got off the phone with Joshua. It made me so happy to hear his voice, and at the same time, made me miss him so much that as soon as I hung up the phone the tears came without me even trying. I hate being away from him. and I hate knowing that we are apart for a worthless mission that they don't even need him for. I miss him so much it aches. God that sounds stupid. lol.
I think a huge part of it is that my family is not around either, or my friends. and i'm sick... so the only thing I have to do is sit around and think about how much I miss him etc.
I guess I should feel lucky that i love someone in my life that I love so much that I want to be around him everyday. He is truly my great love.
and now i sit here, letting tears dry on my cheeks because my soldier is far away. Man, the year in Iraq is going to be a roller coaster of emotions huh? lol. But on that note i am sure that being surrounded by family and friends will help tremendously.
So I am super pumped that Josh will be here for Chirstmas. And thinking about us getting our own Christmas tree and decorating it and doing all that fun stuff together thrills me. I am such a girl.
Thought about Blayne today and wondered how he was doing. Obviously I am not going to contact him or anything but I still wonder. It's so weird to be sitting online and seeing his name on my buddy list and knowing i can't IM him or talk to him. I guess that goes with the territory of breaking up. I dont think we will ever be able to be friends. I guess that fits the profile too. Still... I get weirded out that he is not in my life.
Well, I am happy to have heard from Josh. and I hope they get the lead out and send him home to me. Our apartment is awfully lonely without him here to help me fill the space.

posted by Kellie @ 6:09 PM | 0 spread the gossip

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

let me clear my throat...

So I am definitely sick. Which is unfortunate on a lot of levels. 1) I am all alone here in our apartment and need my loving boyfriend to play bedside attendant. 2) I am contageous and can't work and 3) I am bored out of my mind and cant leave because I feel like ass! Damn!
Anyways, so I have not heard from Josh since Monday so I am a little sad. I know it's hard for him to get to internet and his cell phone is not working, but still. I miss him lots and wish I could get to talk to him.
Hopefully today he will get to a computer and can send me some love. we shall see.
on an up note though- my AC is fixed so it is no longer 80 degrees in our apartment! lol.
well i am going to lay and watch "taking lives" and think about Keifer. i love him.

more later I am sure
posted by Kellie @ 12:00 PM | 0 spread the gossip

Saturday, August 14, 2004

the only sounds are my aquarium and my fingers hitting the keys...

1. IF YOU COULD BUILD A HOUSE ANYWHERE--WHERE WOULD IT BE? New Zealand. Or an island that I own. Johnny Depp just bought an island, so I figure I'll give him a call here pretty soon and maybe we can work something out.
2. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING? i do love me some jeans.
3. FAVORITE PHYSICAL FEATURE OF OPPOSITE SEX? a completely symmetrical face.
4. WHAT'S THE LAST MOVIE THAT YOU SAW AT A THEATER? Spiderman 2
5. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO BE? I love Maine. I also love being home.
6. WHERE'S YOUR LEAST FAVORITE PLACE TO BE? waiting for the Metro late at night.
7. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO BE MASSAGED? back, shoulders, and head
8. WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT, STRONG IN MIND OR STRONG IN BODY? mind.
9. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? around 7
10. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE? the dishwasher. god i love that machine.
11. WHAT MAKES YOU REALLY ANGRY? feeling like people aren't taking me seriously, or treat me like I am stupid. And being insulted.
12. IF YOU COULD PLAY ANY INSTRUMENT WHAT WOULD IT BE? the guitar.
13. FAVORITE COLORS? Bright Pink
14. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SPORTS CAR OR SUV? SUV
15. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AN AFTERLIFE? i believe in lots of things... afterlife, reincarnation, Christianity, Islam, ghosts... I'm a whole mess of beliefs!
16. FAVORITE CHILDREN'S BOOK? Where The Sidewalk Ends, Up the Down Staircase, The Giving Tree.
17. WHAT'S YOUR LEAST FAVORITE HOUSEHOLD CHORE? god what to choose... probably taking out the garbage. it goos me out.
18. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPERPOWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Invisibilty.
19. NAME ONE PERSON FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK WITH? my dad
20. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DAY? Fridays. I love em. Even though you have to work, they always go fast. Plus I go out every friday... lol.
21. WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR? Katie Pfadt
22. SUSHI OR HAMBURGER? Sushi all the way. I love me some tuna. And by tuna I mean Katie.
23. FROM THE PEOPLE WHO SEE THIS, WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? I dont even know who reads this
24. WHO'S THE LEAST LIKELY? everyone who says "Kellie Harrison? who's that? what a ho." then ignores this.
25. IF YOU COULD PICK WHAT YOU DO FOR A LIVING, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? forensic pychologist for the FBI. not the be specific or anything. Or a famous movie star.
26. ARE YOU HAPPY? I am all kinds of happy.
27. WHAT COLOR UNDERWEAR ARE YOU WEARING? None right now... God I am a porn star. I am just wearing my boyfriends pants.
28. DO YOU WANT A BABY? Not yet. Someday though.
29.WHAT IS YOUR PETS NAME? Spanky. And Josh of course. And the School.
30. IF YOU WERE A STRIPPER WHAT WOULD YOUR SONG BE? Criminal by Fiona Apple.
31. WHERE IS YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER RIGHT NOW? Usually I could answer "right next to me" or "sitting in our apartment" but for the next 4 weeks I must say California. stupid commander....
32. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED? Of Course.
33. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY AND WHY? eh i cry all the time. lol But I think it was me being sad about Joshua leaving.
34. PICK 4 WORDS THAT DESCRIBE YOURSELF.... Only 5? well here goes... I can try... Fun, Passionate, Funny, Cute, Smart- and humble. I know thats 6, but it needed to be said.
35. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD? Yes.
36. WHAT IS YOUR MOST UNPLEASANT CHARACTERISTIC? i can be hurtful when I am mad. I hate that.
37. WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST FEAR? "Oh the Fear I've known is that I will reap the praise of strangers and end up on my own."- that lyric describes it better than I ever could.
38, WHAT FIRST ATTRACTED YOU TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND? well the fact that I was physically attracted helps. other than that... how smart he is and how affectionate he is and how he makes me feel like I am the most beautiful woman alive. And he has gorgeous eyes.
posted by Kellie @ 9:39 PM | 2 spread the gossip

Who's gonna do nothing with me everyday? You need to leave, but I want you to stay...

So Josh had to leave for Cali this morning. Both of us are so annoyed by it, but there is not much we can do except suck it up and just hope the next few weeks go by real fast. lol.
So the apartment seems really empty without him here. I know that we spend all of our time together (literally unless we are at work we are together) and so I am sure that I will lonely at times, but I plan on reading and catching up on movies he wouldn't want to see (case and point tonight i will be watching 13 going on 30) lol. And the weeks certainly do go by quickly usually so keep your fingers crossed all.
I was hoping with the hurricanes and all that perhaps the weather would get bad fast so that he would not have to leave today, but then again that is just delaying the inevitable. But still. one more night would be nice to have.
man. what am i gonna do when he leaves for Iraq?! At least then I will have my family to hang out with and be with etc. I miss them lots. Wish I could just up and go home for this month with him gone, but it doesnt work that way when you have a job. Oh well. Thus is the life of an adult.
I was just thinking yesterday when josh and I were driving around in the car how great we are together. How we are each totally ourselves and never have to pretend or do all the bullshit that other couples do. I love that. I am not going to get all sappy, but sometimes I am just reminded how much i love him and how well we fit together. :) It's good to have that knowing feeling that things are a-okay and both people are satisfied. :)
Also he left his car here and i love it. I love driving in it. Jeeps are just so fun.
Well, thats all for now. It's dark like night here so I am hoping the storms start soon.
more later :)
posted by Kellie @ 10:50 AM | 0 spread the gossip

Friday, August 13, 2004

the one with the list

the five famous people that I am allowed to "have" and Josh can't get mad. thank you Friends for the entertainment and Steph for posting hers...

here's mine...

1) Dean Cain
2) Joshua Jackson
3) Dave Matthews
4) Brad Pitt
5) Kiefer Sutherland

honorable mentions: Jerod Leto, Collin Ferrel, Adam Pascall, and Drew from the Big Brother House.
posted by Kellie @ 2:59 PM | 0 spread the gossip

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

closer to fine

I'm trying to tell you something about my life.
maybe give me insight between black and white
and the best thing you've ever done for me
is to help me take my life less seriously
darkness has a hunger that's insatiable
and lightness has a call that's hard to hear
I wrap my fear around me like a blanket
I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it
I'm crawling on your shores
I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountains
there's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in a crooked lin
eand the less I seek my source for some definitive
the closer I am to fine
and I went to see the doctor of philosophy
with a poster of Rasputin and a beard down to his knee
he never did marry or see a b-grade movie
he graded my performance, he said he could see through me
I spent four years prostrate to the higher mind
got my paper and I was free
I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountains
there's more than one answer to these questions pointing me in a crooked line
the less I seek my source for some definitive
the closer I am to fine
the closer I am to fine
I stopped by the bar at 3 a.m. to seek solace in a bottle or possibly a friend
and I woke up with a headache like my head against a board
twice as cloudy as I'd been the night before
and I went in seeking clarity.
I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountains
yeah we go to the doctor, we go to the mountains
we look to the children, we drink from the fountains
yeah we go to the bible, we go through the workout
we read up on revival and we stand up for the lookout
there's more than one answer to these questions pointing me in a crooked line
the less I seek my source for some definitive
the closer I am to fine
posted by Kellie @ 6:47 PM | 0 spread the gossip

We generate our own light to compensate for the lack of light from above.

So this is going to be short because I have to go to work. but I am shitty with the commander right now. Josh comes home yesterday all shitty and says he might have to leave for 6 weeks to go do a training thing with some troops in California. Which SUCKS. But nothing was for sure. and he was supposed to leave this weekend. give people 4 days to get their fucking life in order? WTF! His commander is worthless.
so josh goes in this morning to tell him he just doesnt think he can do it because of a million important reasons and his commander laughs and says "well, thats the army." So he has to go and so we are MAJORLY stressing and needing to get shit together. i am so shitty.

now i have to go hang out with 2 year olds.

this is an awesome day.
posted by Kellie @ 7:30 AM | 0 spread the gossip

Friday, August 06, 2004

All you need is love...

I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND MORE THAN ANYTHING. JOSHUA DAVID CLARK YOU ARE TRULY THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. :)

It's in all caps because i mean it....
posted by Kellie @ 9:46 PM | 0 spread the gossip

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Who needs sleep? Well you're never gonna get it...

So I have been having major troubles getting a good nights sleep. Not sure the cause of my delima, but it is starting to catch up with me and I am feeling EXHAUSTED in my daily routine. Especially since I have a classfull of kiddos to keep me up to speed all day and I need my precious energy. And I am coming down with a cold or something, but it is driving me crazy.
Other than that though life is good. I have Josh's ball on friday night and then saturday Tami invited me to go to a football game, but I dont think that is going to happen. Beth and I might go shopping and then out on Saturday. That would be fun. We are getting anxious for JOsh and Michael to meet. I really hope they get along as well as Beth and I do. It would be nice. :)
Well tonight I took some Niquill. Hopefully that will help with the sleeping, Also all wrapped up in my favorite blanket and drinking some Sleepytime tea. Hope all of this adds up to a good and restful slumber.
Wish me luck.....
posted by Kellie @ 8:13 PM | 0 spread the gossip