Friday, May 06, 2005

the wants

I have no tolerance.
No, I don't mean for alcohol, I can tolerate that just fine. In fact, that sounds wonderful, get me a drink right now.
Thank you.
No, when I say no tolerance I am referring to people. I feel bad at how quickly someone can go from polite co-worker to annoying the fuck out of me. Does this make me a bad person? No, not bad, selfish perhaps...
I fully admit to being a selfish person. I want people around to talk to me when I am in the mood to converse. I want them to leave me alone when I am not.
I want a lover to pay 100% of his attention to me at all times. Unless I am not in the mood for that.
I want a boss who gives me a paycheck, but allows me to come and go as I please. So long as I get my work done, why do I need to be in the office for 8 hours a day? In fact, I want a boss who doesn't care if I get my work done or not.
I want a dog who lays nicely beside me without trying to bite me, jump on me or bother me in any way. I want a dog who wants to play when I want to play, but who understands when I am not in the mood anymore. Actually, I want that in a lover as well.
I want friends who want to do exactly what I want to do all of the time. Who want to leave when I want to leave and not a moment earlier or later. Oh. And they should be less attractive than me too. But still beautiful of course.
I want a body that doesn't lump, sag or flab as I get older. I also want to be able to eat whatever I want.
I want a masseuse on call at all times.
I want flowers delivered to my work. And they should be from Dean Cain. Just because.
I want a house with an ocean on one side, mountains on the other and a deck.
I want all the birds to drop dead. Except doves. I find them comforting. They may live.
I want to cook like Emeril. Or have him in my kitchen to cook for me at all times. Josh may also order from him. Or even you, reader, if you are so lucky as to be at our beachfront, mountainous decked out house.
I want to have the closet that Cher has in Clueless. All of the clothes in it should be a perfect size 2.
I want to be a perfect size 2.
I want a woman in the white house. She should be a democrat as well.
But most of all, right now, I want my co-worker to go back to her office, shut the door and remain there until 5:30.
That, and a piece of pizza. But I always want that.

I know the world does not revolve around me, but what a world it would be if it did.
posted by Kellie @ 2:47 PM |


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