Thursday, June 30, 2005

Dating and Mating

I am an awesome first date. This is a recent epiphany. I suppose reflecting on my friends dating lives has caused me to reflect on my own. And this is what I've come up with.

I rock out on first dates.

I'm spontaneous, funny, charming, free, exciting, energetic, passionate, and easy going. I am game for most outings, and tend to be enthusiastic, even about the mundane. It's a gift really. Post-first dates are followed by calls, emails, text messages. I've never had a date and not heard back- and usually it's the next day. Flowers after a first date, notes on my car, plans for the weekend, or sooner. There seems to be a fascination with me, post first date.

The second date is usually a good time too. The second date is where I make my judgements on if there will be a future. I give people the benifit of the doubt on the first date. They're nervous. And frankly, there's only so much interest that can be generated by small talk and alcohol- both are musts on any first date. The second date is when they need to wow me. And if they do, it brings me to the third date.

The third date is my cross roads. It is usually at this point where the new has worn off and when people start to see me for who I really am. I am exposed by this point. The news is out. Behind my outgoing and crazy self lies a girl who is always a little afraid of being rejected. Once this is out in the open my dates have a decision to make: they either buy the farm or head for the hills. This is the way it goes.

I love me on a first date. I have fun. I allow myself to be free and open and honest and wild. Then once emotions get involved it all goes to shit. I become more obsessive and insecure and all of the things that most people are on first dates.

Why do I do everything backwards?

It takes a lot for me to invest in a person. So I guess once I do, I am desperately afraid that they will decide that perhaps I am not worth the mutual investment that I require them to give to me. I'm trying to incorporate first date Kellie into every day Kellie. I like being first date Kellie- she has way more fun. And there are a lot less tears on a first date.
posted by Kellie @ 1:26 PM |

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