Tuesday, June 21, 2005

A "Humdinger" of a Party

This weekend I went to a sex toy party.

The years of tupperware and Pampered Chef are over. These women what they want. Forget the pizza bricks- pass us the Silver Bullet and the "Great Head." The party started off a bit slow. I felt uneasy, being the only person who was not either related to the bachelorette or from the same sorority and college. I wandered the apartment, helping set up and trying to be useful. More than anything, I was trying to avoid becoming a decorative pillow on the couch while the rest of the party went on without me. After everyone had arrived we sat and prepared ourselves for the festivities. The uptightness of some party goers was overwhelming.
It was as if some girls had never been to a bachelorette party before. Let alone seen a penis. So I broke out the jello shots. Filling my dixie cups to the max with jello (I used a 5th of Vodka in this thank you very much) I passed them out, hoping to take the edge off of the crowd. After a few, it seemed to work. Broke out the beer and let the good times roll.
We tasted, smelled and felt most of April (our pure romance consultant)'s products. The more the girls drank, the more they got into it. I am pretty sure that April made out like a bandit from the party. Pent up sexual aggression in women equals a hell of a lot of vibrators purchased in an evening.
Which brings me to my point. Why are we, as women, so embarrassed and meek and mild about sex? Or maybe I mean being sexual. Most women today are pretty open about the fact that they have sex. At least by the time you reach any age of adulthood, it's assumed. However, why are women so ashamed of being a sexual person? Some might argue with me on this point. Fine. I'll take on your argument.
Have you ever faked an orgasm?

I thought so. We all have. There are some women who fake all the time. Being this sexual being without truly experiencing anything. And that saddens me. I mean I might fake things. I fake knowledge at my job every day. I can fake confidence in uncomfortable situations like an all star. But I don't fake sex. That's serious business.

Not saying I never did. I can fake an orgasm like an all star. However, there came a point in my life where I asked myself why I was doing it. Because I wanted to be sexy. And I wanted to be the best they'd ever had. And women having an orgasm is sexy right? I was so caught up in trying to be what my partner wanted, I realized I was no longer allowing myself to enjoy it. I didn't even know how to anymore. And in the end... well... that sucks.

Society puts these pressures on women today. Look hot, but not like a whore. Be sexy, but not slutty. A lady in the street but a freak in the bed. It's hard to be a woman today wondering how her urges fit into the status quo. And the party was a perfect example of this... When April was setting up the sex toys all of the girls at the party were giggling and making fun of them. However, after inhibitions were lowered those same girls were gripping the Humdinger with amazment, ready to go home for the night with their new B.O.B. (battery operated boyfriend).

I'd like to urge all of my female counterparts to let lose a little. And go to a sex toy party.
Or host one yourself.

And stop faking orgasms. You're perpetuating bad sex.
posted by Kellie @ 11:31 AM |


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