Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Rainy Nights

After a(nother) long day I stood outside in the rain.

I wasn't sure why I was doing it, but when I took the little man out to go potty, I took off my parka and let the droplets wash over me. The wind was blowing and it all felt very... refreshing. We stayed outside for over an hour, running and playing in the drizzle. I slipped and fell in the mud, and laughed instead of cried. I talked to me dog and poured my soul into him. The best part about Eddie is that no matter how much I talk he never tires of what I have to say. My every thought is confessed into his little doggie ears. No matter how upset I get he never seems to be scared off. Instead he comes bounded back, a huge puppy grin on his sloppy jaws, and he's in love again.

Sometimes I wish humans were the same. That no matter how insane we may seem to them, they always see past the insecurities and into the soul, which is usually full of love. That would surely make life easier.

Eddie listened to the raving of a mad woman tonight, watched her play in the rain, throw leaves into the air, press them to her lips and kiss them into the sky. Sometimes I feel so free, like nothing can hold me back. I love moments like this. Every insecurity is left at the door and I'm flying through like, floating through the drama... ;)

Afterward I took a hot bath. A bath bomb, a glass of red wine and tons of bubbles. I shaved my legs with my brother's shaving cream and it smelled like my ex boyfriend. It was a better evening, even though my mind feels full of need.

I sort of want to go lie in my backyard and let the rain fall all over me again.

Sleep under the stars and wake up in a few months when my life might be back to normal.
posted by Kellie @ 7:30 PM |


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