Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Tush Push It

I love line dancing.

I had never experienced it until the year, when Jody and Mandi talked me into going. It was quite a fun time, and I am hooked. I've always loved dives. What could compare to Miss Kitty's in Muncie Indiana on a Saturday night? I'll tell you what- Nothin. It was a great time. The regulars were there- all 12 of them sometimes even. Otherwise we could dominate the microphone at karaoke- and I could tend bar when the bar tender wanted to sing. And pass out free drinks.

I was very popular at Kitty's.

Miss Kitty would come around and talk- give us free t-shirts and drinks- what a woman. When they announced that she was closing up shop, I think I cried a little.

Okay, I totally didn't cry. But I was a little sad. I mean, it was Kitty's. Luckily she let us rent it out for graduation night and we found Cheers, then I left Muncie. God. I don't know what I would have done had it been my freshman year. I don't even want to go there.

The point of my tales from Kitty is that I used to line dance there... fake line dance that is... I never knew it to be so intricate and complicated. But I know I. And I love it.
The best part about 8 Seconds Saloon (and by best I mean weird) is that is located adjacent to Tremors. As in the ghetto club in Indy. Yes. That Tremors. Are you kidding me?! So I can go from Boot Scootin Boogie to Missy Elliot in 2 minutes. Amazing. I love my life.

Country bars are pretty much awesome in general. You don't have to worry about men hitting on you constantly, and if they do approach you can see them belt buckle gleaming from so far you always have time to dodge it. I wish more men were available with this built in warning mechanism. Life would be so much simplier. Or some sort of sign above their heads. Neon and flashing-

"Emotionally Unavailabe"
"I won't be there in the morning"
"Whiskey Dick"

These sort of warnings would be amazing. So much heart break could be avoided if only it existed. Women everwhere would be saved so much time and drama. Don't worry guys- we could do the same for you- I won't hold out on you. But think of the time that could be saved!

I'll get on this- dibs on the patent.

Until then, I'll just keep my eye out for the gleaming belt buckle.
And of course the Bling Bling.

Reflective things on men generally make me keep an eye out.

Maybe that's because I've seen too many men in sequins- but that's another post all together.
posted by Kellie @ 3:56 PM |


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