Monday, September 12, 2005

Disapointing Day

Before I begin, I would like to acknowledge something. This "something" being that I know I am very lucky to get to talk to J as much as I do. I am lucky he has internet and access to phones. I know this. Just had to throw that out there before I get hated on (by friends who barely talk to their loved on overseas).

This whole Iraq thing? Yeah. It sucks.

The phone lines are down half of the time, the internet blows ALL the time, and I am left feeling frustrated and alone. Frustrated with the lack of communication that is available and even more frustrated with myself for my feelings of abondonment that this causes me to have.

I sit at my computer and can see him online. I try to talk. No response. I know this is because his computer continuously shuts itself down when he is online. Sometimes we have success and can talk for a few minutes. But more often than not, lately especially, we can barely talk- if at all. This morning was a good example...

I get online to see if perhaps he just might be on. I expected a call on Friday, but to no avail. Was told that if Friday couldn't happen- Sunday would. No call. So I think 'today's the day.' At least an email... so I get online. And BAM!

There he is!
Yippee! I can put my woes behind me and start my morning off right by chatting for a bit with my fiance... "HEY BABY!" I type with the excitement of a seventh grade girl. ... silence. And then the dreaded "_______ has signed off." Fuck you aim! Get back on here! Let him talk!

Then he signed back on! My prayers were answered again! This is awesome! "Internet sucks huh?" I joke. Throw in a "wink" for effect. again. Nothing. This happens a good 10 times before I finally give up and apparently so does he.

So I took a deep breath knowing that he would call today, since the internet is apparently available, just shoddy (as per always)- note: the internet and phones go hand in hand, I think... when you can get on one- you can access the other- at least this is my understanding. So I knew, I mean I KNEW, he would call me today. I kept my phone close at all times- prepared to quit whatever job/meeting/task I was involved in as soon as I heard it ring.

Considering it is now almost 1:30 in Iraq, I think it's time to give up.

The biggest problem with having an overactive imagination is disapointing yourself.
posted by Kellie @ 4:07 PM |


<< Home