Monday, November 14, 2005

Dating and Mating

Lately my friends have all seemed to want to discuss the subject of marriage. Of course with my wedding being but only 5 months away, it makes sense that this might be something that pops up from time to time in conversation. Last night I had a long talk on the matter with an ex. His plans to marry are pretty much nonexistent and he doesn’t see that changing. Which is, of course, another solidifying reason of why he and I could never have stayed together.

But there are a lot of those, so we’ll move on.

The biggest comment I seem to be getting from people is the old "One person for the rest of your life" thing. To most of my (male) friends, this seems to be terrifying. The thought that you are making a commitment to this one person, through thick and thin, sickness and health, blah blah blah seems to send them running, tail between their legs, into the safetly of Bachelordom. Of course there is nothing wrong with being single. Single is great. Single is fun.

Single is...
Lonely.

I take great comfort in the fact that I get to spend the rest of my life with this one person. Knowing that I am done- done with the games, the confusion, the waiting by the phone, the hoping he’ll call after the first time, the where-do-we-stand talk, basically the crap of dating- makes me breathe a sigh of relief. It was worth it to go through all of that- it’s brought me to where I am today: content with loving this one person and knowing he loves me back. It’s definitely better than the whole drunk make out and random hook ups that come along with Single and Looking.

My ex called me out on my flirtatious nature, questioning if once I become Mrs. J, am I going to change completely, becoming a different person- instead of the "Cool girlfriend/fiancé" become the dreaded "Ball and Chain." My outgoing personality and carefree attitude is often mistaken as flirting. I’ve argued this for years. I informed him that the title of Wife doesn’t mean my I have a lobotomy on my personality. In all honesty, first of all, I am truly not flirting 90% of the time. But even if I were- is there anything wrong with the innocent flirt? Just the same as I expect that J still finds other women attractive, I, too, am not deaf and blind to every person I come into contact with who is not my fiancé/hubby. I doubt very much that anyone can truly say that they only have eyes for their mate. It’s in the actions that makes it good/bad/skeezy. And attraction to someone else does not lessen your love for your partner. At least in my opinion.

So anyways, just thought I’d throw these thoughts out there and see who agrees/disagrees with me...

Any thoughts world?
posted by Kellie @ 11:50 AM |

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