Friday, September 30, 2005
Quest for the Evil PixieTomorrow is October. October. rocks. my. world.
Ever since I was a kid I have loved, no, I mean loved, Halloween. Like, I want to make out with it. But that's just getting too personal, even for me. I love the holliday. I love costumes and parties and trick or treaters. I adore carving pumpkins (I even take the guts out- nothing scares me!). Bobbing for apples, making caramel apples, hay rides, haunted houses. Yeah. I pretty much love all that.
When I was a kid, I remember always striving for the best halloween costumes. Of course, growing up in Indiana, it was always ruined by the fact that it was so cold on Halloween night we were all forced to cover ourselves up with coats and jackets so we wouldn't "catch a cold." Despite my arguments with my parents (to this day) that one catches colds from germs, not being cold- they still disagree and urge me to put jackets on (this happened last night- not even kidding). There's nothing quite like a Halloween in the snow. Been there. Done that. More than once.
Last year Josh and I went to a Halloween party at my (then) boss's house. I was determined to have an awesome costume. There's something to be said about Halloween with people you work with... You only ever see them in work clothes. Boring suits, ties, the occasional jeans for casual Friday. Halloween definitely brings out the colorful side of their personalities. And I was determined to show mine. Josh and I walked into the huge costume warehouse (yeah I don't sew, so I must buy the overpriced pre-made costumes). Josh immediately was drawn to the boy things. You know what I mean. Masks. Scary ones. Evil Killers. Demons. I attempted to do the cute thing where couples go as, well... a couple! An angel and a devil, a priest and a nun, two woodland fairies (yeah... he didn't go for the woodland fairies either). But, alas, he did not want to join me in my quest for the Halloween Costume.
I examined the walls of pictures... French maids, little devil costumes, vampires, play boy bunnies (no, I did not even consider it), and all other sorts of costumes, which pair lingerie with animal ears and call it a costume- don't get me started on that! Then I saw it. The Evil Pixie. I'm not sure what drew my eye to this costume... But I loved it. I knew it must be mine! Then, as my eye scanned, my heart sank.
I cringed. It couldn't be! This had to be a mistake. I grabbed the nearest "customer service representative" I could find. (a.k.a. high school boy).
"Is this true?" I asked him. He looked at me, a little vaguely, without recognition of what I was asking. I pointed to the sign. "Sold out. Is this sold out?" I asked. He stared. We were getting nowhere.
"This pixie. This one RIGHT HERE." I pointed for emphasis, perhaps he was more of a visual learner. "Is it sold out?" Finally his young eyes lit up a bit. He understood.
"Oh yeah. That's gone." He said simply and walked away.
I was heartbroken.
I went to find Josh, seeking his comfort in my time of need. What did I find? A demonic evil...thing. Masked and cloaked and holding a sword. Yes, this was my fiance. He was ridiculously happy. And in my dissapointment over my failed Evil Pixie Costume, I had to laugh. Halloween turns us all into big kids- and it's that one time of year when that's okay. I ended up being a vampire last year, and it was a good time. We went to my boss's party where I ended up real drunk, and falling down in the middle of the street... yeah. Classy, party of one, right here.
This year, my whole family will be getting together for this bowling party. I know how lame that sounds, but when the family gets together- it's awesome. So we all will be getting dressed up again- however the evil pixie would be less than sucessful around the fam. So I am thinking a woodland sprite or something else of that nature.
Maybe next year will be my evil pixie year. Keep your fingers crossed.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Short but SweetSo work has been insane lately, hence my lack of updating- apologies to all!
Last night I had a dream about the wedding... and in the past most of my dreams were not what one might label as... good. I was always dreaming that something goes wrong from the cake missing to the groom backing out.
Really positive stuff here folks.
So, generally I am not excited to awake from a wedding dream.
But this morning was different... It was an awesome dream! And all my excitement and anticipation culminated together into one hell of a night's sleep.
It was great. :)
But now I am back at work and the babies are-a bein' born, so I must roll out! more later, if time allows!
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Top Ten Truths of Drunk GirlsMy mother sent me this forward today- some of you have probably seen it- it's a list of things that happens when people, girls specifically, drink too much. I have decided to post this list, and also to add to it a little... This IS my friends. It's ridiculous. So public humilation shall be happening... right... now....
please tell me how true this is.
1. I have absoloutely no idea where my purse it (and in it- cell phone, wallet, keys, etc). It's me. I'll say it. I can admit my own faults.
2. I believe that dancing with my arms overhead and wiggling my butt while yelling "Woo-Hoo" (or "yee haw") is truly the sexiest dance move around. Or laying on the floor and punching the air. I've seen this dance move... My bff Cassie has perfected it. And she definitely thinks it's hot. And frankly... once I've been drinking... I think so too.
3. I drop my 3:00 AM Greeks pizza/Labambas burrito/Jimmy Johns on the floor (and I'm eating even though I'm not hungry), I then pick it up and keep eating. Okay ladies... come one... this one we are all guilty of!
4. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them SOOOOOOOOOO much... recall a time in my kitchen where we were toasting cass's yaya... EO led that one I believe... Oh classic. And then of course how many times have I embraced Tay and Katie tearfully? Oh man...
5. I get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song plays because "Oh my God, I LOVE THIS SONG!" Liz. J.R. I am so outing you on this one.
6. The urge to take off my clothes has become so great I can no longer deny it. Sorry girl. It's true. Granted, we were partners in crime, but I have a pic. :)
7. I have deep and meangful conversations with everyone. Like, every. one. But this is why I love you... :)
8. I yell at everyone, especially the bartender who I think cheated me by giving with just coke, when in reality I can no longer taste the rum. Yeah... Jodes and I... drunk=fighting.
9. I take off my shoes because it is their fault I can no longer walk straight. We all do this. Who doesn't? Those effing heels...
10. And last, but not least, and sadly true... I fail to notice that the toilet seat is down... er... hopefully you all have done that... right? Like maybe once?
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Riddle me this...How can it be possible that I have begun to work out again every day
and I have gained 5 pounds?
I understand this not.
My clothes fit the same basically and I am not going up a size, yet the scale argues with me...
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
My SaturdayIf I had pictures I would post them from my Saturday night. But instead I don't so I will just have to entertain with my stories.
Got the Leanne and Jarl's on Saturday night and had time to catch up with them for a bit. Liz showed up about half an hour later. It was amazing to be around Liz and Leanne (and you too Jarl!). The energy that the three of us emit is in-cre-dible. Also, both Liz and Leanne are rexy! Holy skinny batman! And liz has long hair- like a mermaid- I kid not! They both look beautiful, as per usual.
So we headed out for some Mexican at El Rodeo. Cheap food, good drinks, good times. We proceed to order the 47 ounce margarita, and let me tell you folks, no matter how small your Mexicano waiter tells you it is. It was HUGE. Awesome and amazing and drunky. I spoke Spanglish all night and I am sure that he hated our table and lack of Spanish skills. But we certainly made ourselves laugh. Leanne only knows how to say "sit down and shut your mouth." Which she said. Repeatedly. Luckily, our server laughed. We convinced him that Liz and I were a lesbian couple or "el lesbiano" as we told him. He was amused. And a little turned on. As he should be. I think the people we met there were exceedingly not entertained by us, but oh well. Again, we laughed a lot.
After dinner we went to Taylor's pub where we proceeded to drunk dial people, even though we were not quite drunk. We found a jukebox and played tons of music. Drank lots of blond headed slut shots and beer. We found a 21 year old guy who was celebrating his birthday. We took shots with him, and he proceeded to fall in love with Liz. I was accosted by a man, before pawning him off onto Leanne, who's husband quickly played defense for us as we ran from the bar. Blaring ghetto rap in Jarl's BMW we took off to downtown...
Downtown... oh sweet wonderfulness of you... went to a club I had never been to before. An odd mixture of people, but in general good music and a fun atmosphere. Dancing was a must, and of course, hello? Have you met us? It was awesome. I tried to pawn guys off on Liz, as always drunk men adore me. To no avail with most of them, so I took to running away. Literally over to Leanne and dancing with her. We both accosted Lizzie, trying to give her a kiss, as she hates girl on girl anything- even a hug. She was substantially gooed out with Le finally planted a wet one on her. It was awesome. After awhile the dj began to play what I like to refer to "what the fuck" music. Like you're dancing, having a good time, singing along, and then... what the fuck? Yeah. I hate those moments. Liz and I bartered to get into the VIP section. And for only 260 bucks we could have had the room cleared and only us allowed in. We decided against this plan, as I have found, in Indianapolis the VIP section is pretty lame in most places. Although Leanne and Jarl have said that "Six" has an awesome VIP... martini's dusted with Pearl dust... I may have to check that out some eve.
The night ended with hotdogs from a street vendor- because we all know that even the skinniest girls eat when they're drunk. Nothing like beautiful thin women, decked out from the club, walking down the street with mustard on their face. :) Class-y.
Home was more drunk dials, and then passing out, only to get up the next day to see Lee and Jarl's new house and hit up the Bob Evans. mmm. mmm. good.
And that, my friends, was my Saturday- how was yours?
Random Updates From My MindMy weekend was... in a word... great! :) Saturday night with the girls was fabulous. There is just something to be said for having amazing friends like them! Sometimes it's easy to forget how wonderful my friends are- thanks for the reminder girls!
However, my girls did remind me that my best friend is the lead singer of the Pussycat Dolls. (Really it's an inside joke- as Nicole is the best friend of my college friend and came to one party and used to call all the time). But it still makes me laugh- especially since I sing "Don't Cha" all the time, all the while never knowing I was singing along with an aquaintance. Small world.
Work has been busy. I would discuss it more, but then I'd just get fired- and who needs that?
Been missing Josh more and more each day. Was a little overly emotional on Sunday, especially when I thought I was not going to hear from him. But, of course, he made everything better in a phone call that evening. He is always the one who makes everything better. I am a spaz- emotional, wild, passionate... and he is my grounding. It's pretty awesome.
If anyone watched "How I Met Your Mother" last night Josh and I totally have the Olive Theory happening- I hate them- he loves them. Therefore it all works out! :)
Also- I did love the line in that show of "I am totally putting this in my blog." Oh Doogie... you still make me smile.
Okay, this entry is random, but just needed to update a bit.
Friday, September 16, 2005
Update to BrrrrrrrrrrrrrApparently when I turned on my space heater I blew out the fuse to the kitchen.
So people could not use the microwave for lunch.
But I was nice and toasty.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Reality Sinks Back InI always take things personally.
I lie and say I don't, but, well, as I said before: that's a lie. My feelings, though seemingly behind a thick skin of confidence, get hurt more easily than I'd like to admit. But this is me. It's just who I am. But it's that same sensitivity that makes me a passionate person. It's the part of me that compels me to do right by others. It's what makes me good at my job- reaching out to people who have little and trying to help them through the roughest situations. It's what makes me cry during movies (or even those feed the children commercials- but only when I'm PMSing).
But today I realized that I am truly my own worst enemy. My emotions overtake me and I just go with the flow (of tears). Looking through blurried eyes I left my office today, dissapointed in the communication breakdown (yet again) Iraq offers, and distraught over conversations had about relationships falling apart (not mine, mind you). I drove to the gym, because, of course, it's a "fat day." I walked into the bathroom thinking back over my emotional morning. Sighing I pulled myself together, because if I can't control anything else, I can control how I look.
I got on the treadmill and began to run. As I was jogging my mind started to wander, as it does when I am bored- and I am always bored when I work out. I began to think of the ways my mind plays tricks on me. And that's when I realized that I allow this to happen. I allow other people's problems in their relationships to spur thoughts of insecurity in my own. I've allowed society's stress on being bone thin to distort my own body image so that now all I see is a chubby girl, always needing to lose 10 pounds. I allow my feelings to be hurt over things I cannot control.
My fiance loves me and wants to marry me, if he didn't he wouldn't have asked.
No girl who wears a size 4 jeans is fat. This is just a fact.
The internet cutting out during a conversation is not equivilant to someone not wanting to talk to me.
These are facts. This is truth.
And this moment of clarity that entered my mind today was mood altering. I walked back into my work place, ready to face the challenges that the legal system can throw at me.
Even as I sit at my computer in my office right now, I feel calm. Content with who I am and happy to have the life that I have. It's far too easy to get stuck in mud the life slings, and I know not all days will take this positive turn but I am going to make it my goal to remember what's true. And when I get caught up in my mind to recognize truth.
I can't argue with the facts, no matter how hard I might try.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Why not?"Tagged" by choice from Kiki... I shall also participate.
7 things I plan to do before I die:
1.) Get married
2.) Finally become okay with my body image and lead a healthy lifestyle.
3.) Make-a them Babies (2 please) ;)
4.) Find the perfect home for my brother.
5.) Travel to Australia and New Zealand
6.) Write a book
7.) Live on a coast... I don't care which one... just let there be water in my view please! :)
7 things I can do:
2.) Make strangers laugh (I do this all the time with the help usually of Jody)
5.) Argue and Debate
6.) Write bad poetry! :)
7.) Memorize pretty much anything.
7 things I cannot do:
1.) Move my muscles in certain ways (I gots the disease...) :(
2.) Quit thinking about food!
3.) Disguise my emotions (I feel that one Kiki)
4.) Stop spending money!
6.) Feel comfortable in a room where I know no one.
7.) Tolerate those who refuse to tolerate others.
7 things that attract me to the opposite sex/another person:
1.) Blue eyes
3.) Muscular arms
4.) Warm smile
5.) Sense of Humor
6.) Well dressed
7.) I like glasses! (I know, I am dork!)
7 things that I say most often:
2.) Boo to that.
3.) Someone's gonna get beat.
4.) What. Ever.
5.) jk. lol. (yeah like, I say them. I'm that girl.)
6.) Get off of me. (as in "leave me a lone")
7.) I love/hate that. (I pronounce the "slash")
7 celebrity crushes:
1.) Keifer Sutherland
2.) Dean Cain (I never got over you darling!)
3.) Orlando Bloom
4.) Dave Matthews
5.) Joshua Jackson
6.) Brad Pitt
7.) Tay Diggs
7 people I want to do this:
Yeah... anyone... :)
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
The Equation for Fun
= OMG I CAN'T WAIT FOR SATURDAY!
That's right folks! This Saturday Leanne, Bean and myself will be painting the town of Indianapolis. I have not seen these two chickas for approximately 2 years (since Leanne's wedding and my college graduation). So I am super excited and just needed to express that!
Cash Registers at 3AM
I woke up at 3:30 to a loud "KA-CHING."
The sound that a cash register makes as it opens.
The sound that AIM uses to alert me that my "buddy" is online and available.
I lay in bed for a moment, trying to decide if I really was going to get up at 3am to tread to my computer and chat with J. At this point, I am awake. So I bit the bullet and had all of a one minute conversation with my baby- finding out that the phones are down and the internet is crappy as ever. We exchanged the usuals: I love yous and missings were typed from one continent to another... I lay in bed smiling and trying to get back to sleep.
And even though I had less rest than normal, I woke up this morning happy and refreshed.
Ain't love grand?
Monday, September 12, 2005
Disapointing DayBefore I begin, I would like to acknowledge something. This "something" being that I know I am very lucky to get to talk to J as much as I do. I am lucky he has internet and access to phones. I know this. Just had to throw that out there before I get hated on (by friends who barely talk to their loved on overseas).
This whole Iraq thing? Yeah. It sucks.
The phone lines are down half of the time, the internet blows ALL the time, and I am left feeling frustrated and alone. Frustrated with the lack of communication that is available and even more frustrated with myself for my feelings of abondonment that this causes me to have.
I sit at my computer and can see him online. I try to talk. No response. I know this is because his computer continuously shuts itself down when he is online. Sometimes we have success and can talk for a few minutes. But more often than not, lately especially, we can barely talk- if at all. This morning was a good example...
I get online to see if perhaps he just might be on. I expected a call on Friday, but to no avail. Was told that if Friday couldn't happen- Sunday would. No call. So I think 'today's the day.' At least an email... so I get online. And BAM!
There he is!
Yippee! I can put my woes behind me and start my morning off right by chatting for a bit with my fiance... "HEY BABY!" I type with the excitement of a seventh grade girl. ... silence. And then the dreaded "_______ has signed off." Fuck you aim! Get back on here! Let him talk!
Then he signed back on! My prayers were answered again! This is awesome! "Internet sucks huh?" I joke. Throw in a "wink" for effect. again. Nothing. This happens a good 10 times before I finally give up and apparently so does he.
So I took a deep breath knowing that he would call today, since the internet is apparently available, just shoddy (as per always)- note: the internet and phones go hand in hand, I think... when you can get on one- you can access the other- at least this is my understanding. So I knew, I mean I KNEW, he would call me today. I kept my phone close at all times- prepared to quit whatever job/meeting/task I was involved in as soon as I heard it ring.
Considering it is now almost 1:30 in Iraq, I think it's time to give up.
The biggest problem with having an overactive imagination is disapointing yourself.
Friday, September 09, 2005
Ass-Less WonderI have no butt. None.
This has made my recent shopping for nice, new dress pants for work... difficult.
I am feeling more than a little frustrated right now. Not that I hate my butt... it's a nice, little thing, but jeans and pants that are supposed to be HOT are... baggy. Loose. FLAT.
I feel as though there must be excercises that have made Jessica Simpson's ass look Daisy Duke amazing... I must find these and hone my skills as to make my ass like hers. This shall be my goal.
Stop judging me. it can happen.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Homecoming!I had lunch today with an old friend.
I laughed more than I have in a long time. It's amazing how one person can light of your life and bring an amazing brightness to an otherwise blah and beige kind of day. Thanks go out to Robbie for making my day sparkle!
So I am going home for BSU's homecoming this year... and I have to admit. I'm pretty much pumped. The thought of seeing old friends that I have not seen in years thrills me to no end. Erin and I plan on going to Muncie on the previous Friday night (an open invitation to all of you BSU folk, by the way) and stay at the Lees Inn... Or frankly wherever we can get in! I don't care if we have to sleep in the lap of Benny, I will be at Ball State!
Not a lot of people know much about Ball State. I would venture to say that most people don't even know where Muncie is. Maybe some don't even know where Indiana is... but that's just silly. Ball State is... a fun school. Has a lot of awesome programs, most of which I know little about; In fact, I know little about any other world at Ball State other than my own Department: Theatre and Dance.
I had an awesome and weird college experience. Get up in the morning, put on dance clothes underneath regular clothes, go to "normal class," then into classes for my major where I cried, danced, sang, and laughed all day. After class was over began the real work. Hours spent preparing for a rehearsal, lucky if I got to shower in between, late nights at the theatre and studio, working on my own projects, class projects, homework at 2am, or early in the morning when I would wake up to start it all over again. Add in lots of alcohol, of course... I mean, it was college.
I was lucky enough to have an amazing group of friends who shared this whole existance with me. There are times I miss waking up in "The Snatch Patch" (which was the name of our house, thank you very much), on Saturdays (when I didn't have REFLEX, the improv troupe I was in), going into the living room to lay on the sofa and sober up, watching HBO with my house mates. An array of people from all walks of life, it always made it nice to be at home. Living with 6 other people, you never get lonely. I remember going out for the last party of the year (huge party that is). It got busted at the first house, so we stole the keg and moved on. Busted again. Keg in the back of the truck and move on down the road... Kissing keg stands, Taylor and her $5 bill... the memories are endless. After the keg had run out my roommate, Erin- and we won't go into the antics of her and I that night, however if you were there I am sure you recall...- anyways, so Erin and I took the walk home together, only to discover in our wandering that the party had moved yet again... to our house.
The thought of this night always makes me laugh.
I loved this time in my life for many reasons, and I will always cherish those who shared it with me. They know a part of me that others never will. And I hold each of them in my heart. And I can't wait to see them again.
Meet me at Benny, guys. :)
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Prove Me WrongI feel completely devastated by the scene in New Orleans. I have truly never seen anything like this happening in our country. As I sat watching Primetime I was overwhelmed with emotion. It feels similar to my feelings watching the towers go down on 911. Emotional and horrified- for different reasons obviously.
These people need our help and I feel completely helpless. Other than the ability to donate my money to the Red Cross or other organizations for a relief effort, what can I do? I sit watching: confused and frustrated by what I'm seeing. There are dead bodies in our street, sick children and elderly waiting outside for help, no water, no food.
What horrifies me even more is to know that there are monsters who are taking every advantage of this tragedy. Raping, beating, killing, shooting down helicopters who have come to help. These are the truly evil souls.
How can a country who has so much be at a seemingly stand still in this so very desperate time of need? How can the President of our Nation sit in an interview with Diane Sawyer and imply that things are under control? How can he say it with a smile on his face. There is nothing to smile about Mr. President. To say we have a "zero tolerance" for the looters from a grocery store... We can send thousands of troops to Iraq, to fight on someone else's soil, but we can't seem to help the victims of Katrina. I wish I could think we're in the hands of a good leader. But I just don't think we are.
I hope he might prove me wrong this time.
And worse still, how can I view a television show on MTV called my Sweet Sixteen and watch American youth throw away hundreds of thousands of dollars towards a party, and know inside that these very same people probably have no concept of the horrors occuring in their own country. Or even care. And I, in my own way, have supported these people, by viewing their ridiculousness, while I put my brain on autopilot and let the tv take me away.
I am just absoloutly shocked, saddened, and terrified for these people.
I truly hope help really is on the way.