Friday, February 24, 2006

Fight Club

I don't mean to go all "Stephanie Klein" about my dog... but here goes.

Today was Eddie's first day of Doggie Day Care. Now, before you all barrage me with your mockeries of Doggie Day Care, let's talk facts... 1) I have one dog- and one dog only. 2) I have no close friends with a dog of similar size for my pup to play with. 3) people are scared of my dog because he is rather intimidating and does not always know how to play well with other. 4) My parents, whic currently watch Eddie while I work, need a break every now and then. And fianlly, 5) Doggie Day Care is pretty damn cheap.

So I figured, what the hell.

I woke Monster Dog up this morning early. He immediately grabbed my tennis shoe and took off. I tracked him down, cursed his name, and thus our morning begins as usual.

First, I have to admit, I love how smart Prince Edward the Black is. I say to him "You're going on a trip today! You're going to SCHOOL!" And somehow, in his little doggie brain, one of words registers (my guess would be "trip" or "going"), because he was at his leash ready to have it put on him and then was at the door ready to embark on his adventure.

When we got to the day care, he was pretty excited... until we opened the door. He leered in, not moving, just sniffing. I think he knew this place was not meant for him. We walk in to fakey greetings. "AW LOOK AT DA PUPPY!!!' One blond girl- probably 18 years old gushes, as she holds a chihuahua. Um, lady, I know you don't like this dog. He's huge. He's masculine. You're holding a Chihuahua. You're blond and tanned and fake boobed. You don't like my dog. And he's not a puppy- he;s over 70 lbs. Give it up.

Instead I smile. I even remark about how "cute her dog is." (Admittedly, I do find all pups cute- big, small, furry, hairless- I'm an equal opportunity animal lover). They ask who he is and I tell them it's Eddie and this is his first day. Eddie in the mean time, is completely confused. He chooses to sit beside me, trying to figure out what this place is, and what it has in store for him. A man walks in holding a miniture Yorkie. It is, obviously, cute. I smile at him and at his little pup. He looks at me, looks Eddie up and down with disdain. I saw it flash in his eyes 'Pit Bull.' He hugs his little dog a bit closer. I want to lash out. This is what I go through with my dog. First I want to scream "HE'S NOT A PIT BULL, HE'S AN AMERICAN BULLDOG." Then I want to, politely, point out that this large man with his little dog really has no room to judge me for my masculine fella... he's carrying a Yorkie... She has a leapord print collar... hello? And he's looking at ME like that. Sheesh.

ANYWAY! So, I let Eddie go back to the room and I leave, hoping he'll have fun and that this will be an enjoyable day.

I get to work.

I begin work.

Fast Forward ONE HOUR. Yes, folks, ONE. HOUR. I get the call. The call every parent dreads.

"You need to pick up your son." Er.... dog. I mean, dog...

Apparently Eddie was not getting along with some of the other dogs. They offered to keep him in a cage for the rest of the day, but that, frankly, sucks, and he could be caged at home. So I agree to go pick him up.

Now here's where it gets sketchy.

So I show up at this place and go in. I am embarrassed. I had counted on Eddie to disprove the stereotype of his appearance and breed and he did NOT do a very good job with his task. I enter and smile, apologetically.

"I'm here for Eddie." I say. The girl who checked him in this morning comes out and starts talking to me. Apparently, they just let all the dogs loose and then leave the room. The girl walked by later and saw that Eddie was "Cowering in the corner and snapping at anyone who came near him." Odd. So does not sound like my dog. So she offers to show me. We go into the room where the other dogs are, and where Eddie is sitting in a cage- detention. I want to scold him for being a bad dog, but he's super cute and dopey and excited to see me, so I hold it together. She lets him out and he is up on me. Paw on my shoulders and licking my chin. It's times like this that I love having a large and in charge monster. I smile and laugh and tell him he's a good boy. And then I turn my attention to the lady in charge. She says that he was okay with some of the dogs, but others he was very aggressive. I watch him. He's being good. He's social with some dogs. The only time I see him get even the slightest bit angry is when the Chihuahua continue to come over and BITE his leg. BITES HIM! So he snaps. I would too. It's like having a rat nip you- I'd be pretty shitty myself. And he doesn't like another dog- the Humping Dog... you know this one- he goes around trying to hump everyone... Eddie didn't like him either.


My dog doesn't like being gay humped or bit by rats.

Damn... whoda thought?!

So, now the road turns a bit more sketch. It's bad enough that they copped out and called me after an hour. But now here we go... So this girl says to me "He's awfully fear aggressive for being so young. He's not quite two... this could be a major behavioral issue."

"Well, we plan on putting him back into training as soon as we get married." I say to her, figuring this will calm her concern for my pup. It's not a lie. We DO plan on putting him back into obedience. We want to work with him more and more- because he is a great dog- but he's stubborn and strong and smart- he needs to be reigned in.

"Well, I just wanted to let you know, if you don't want him, I'll take him." She says.


"Oh, well, thank you, but I don't think we'll be getting rid of him." I say.

"Well, with behavioral issues, it's hard sometimes... so if you want to get rid of him, I'd be willing..." she continues. I cut her off.

"I'm pretty sure we won't." She nods.

"Another thing..." WARNING BEEP BEEEP SKETCHY "If you want, we could get our dogs together.... I have a Pit, and we could muzzle them both and let them fight." I must have looked confused, because Crazy continues. "That way they couldn't hurt each other, but my dog could teach him what he knows, and they could fight their agression out."

Hold up. When did I get on the road to Crazyville? Am I on Crazy Street? I think I am, ladies and gents.

"I don't think so... but thank you for all of your help." I mumble as I leave the room.

To put the icing on the cake, as I try to leave she stops me- to CHARGE me for the day.

"But he got sent home?!" I say.

"Yes, but we offered to keep him the whole day."

"IN A CAGE!" I exclaim. I realize this is a no win situation so I plop down the money and rock out of there.

"Call me if you change your mind about getting together!" Crazy calls after me.

What a morning for the Eddie. And J comes in tonight. Exciting day all around.
posted by Kellie @ 9:55 AM |


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