Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Married in the Suburbs

Whenever I watch Sex in the City, it inspires me to write. Probably because Carrie is a writer and poses the same questions that I think all of us women tend to ask ourselves... It makes me focus back on myself, my relationship, my life, my goals and, most of all, my friends.

There is a part of me that is jealous of my single girlfriends. Now, before J reads this and begins packing my bags, I just mean a PART of me. The part that loves going dancing, drinking pretty drinks, talking to even prettier men and spending way too much money on shoes and clothes. The part that misses candy corn and pumpkin parties (and wine- always with the wine) when one of my girlfriends (and myself) got dumped, or screwed over, or was doing the screwing. Drinking cosmos from a cheap martini glass and then moving on to cheap beer once the buzz got going. Parties and kisses and beautiful people. Jumbo margaritas followed by too many chips and salsas and enchiladas that always made me sick. Or was that the margarita? Who knows. I remember the bathroom of Puerto's all too well. I look back on my "single" days through rose colored glasses.

Where did that girl go?

Now I'm sitting in a room with too many boxes. Hair short and unkept because I didn't bother to shower today due to working in my yard. My nails are au natural- due to the fact that they got in my way when I was typing, and it was truly getting expensive to keep them. I've traded in my vodka tonics for the occasional red wine, which tends to give me a headache, but I drink it anyway. In the background, the noise from my television blares, because I forgot to turn it off, and now am hounded by the fact that I need to do so... You know, electric bill and all.

There. Back. Better.

I have a dog asleep on a gold sofa that has more throw pillows on it than I can stand. When no one is here, I push them all on the floor (which hasn't been vacuumed in over a week) and lay on the couch with an old, stained pillow, under a blanket with more holes than baby swiss. My life has changed so dramatically in the last 3 years. When I think back to the way life used to be, I realize one huge fact: this is where I wanted to go. I wanted to be this girl I am now. I was chasing this dream. I wanted to be the girl in the kitchen. The one who's singing at the top of her lungs, taking breaks to sip this cheap beer that's sitting next to me, making dinner for her husband- her family.

I still laugh uncontrollably after a few drinks. I still crave passion and love. I still dance around my house, singing songs I've made up. I still call my friends late on a random Monday- just to hear about their life and laugh until I cry. I still write (bad) poetry in my head about my husband's freckles while he sleeps.

And I like it this way. Sex in the City? Nope. Just Married in the Suburbs.
posted by Kellie @ 3:31 PM |


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