Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Take and Read... then Apply.

This post goes out to the ladies.

And the gay men.

And the guys who just want to read this and feel like either a)crap or b)awesome... depending on what guy you are.

The best book for any woman to read is, of course, He's Just Not That Into You.

We know that right? If you don't- learn it. Live it. Embrace it.

BUY it. Now, there's no excuses.

Now, I know that I have been guilty of falling into the many traps that this book discusses. I have allowed myself to be treated like a booty call/just friend/assistant and everything else in between. Bear that in mind, folks. But as I talk to friends and give advice to others, sometimes the words "He's just not that into you" can sound... well... bitchy. But I say them. Well, I've said them. Blurted them out in the face of a beautiful girl, tears in her eyes when she tells me about her Worthless Boyfriend.

She's read the book.

She owns the book.

She tells everyone else to read the book.

But she ignores it.

How long should we allow ourselves to be treated like a backup plan before we get it?

The answer is- NEVER!

My friends are beautiful. I may be biased, but come on. They're smart. They are doctors and attorneys and actresses and teachers and everything in between. And yet, on occasion, when a man steps in, their attributes fly out of the window and they become this whole new person. A person who sits by the phone, tears in her eyes, waiting on him to call when he said he would. Days go by until she finally calls him.

"Well NO ONE calls when they SAY they will, Kellie."

Yes they do. J does. When we were dating he called me all the time! He called to say hi, he called on his lunch, he called when my favorite show was on- just to mock me for watching it. We racked up $500.00 in phone bills in one month (note to all- do not do this!). But, the point is, he called me. He cared enough about me to see how I was doing. He was thinking of me, and wanted me to know it.

He treats her like crap. He doesn't respect her. He doesn't respect her friends. He drives a wedge between her and her life/family/work/friends. And yet she "loves him." Why?

"He's different when we're alone." Okay. Great. So, the point is that he has the ability to act like a decent and normal human being. Has the potential to be a wonderful boyfriend/husband. But the fact that he does not respect her enough to do so all the time, well, that pretty much means he sucks. And there is someone out there who doesn't. And maybe would even "love her" more than he ever could.

I know the excuses. Trust me- I made the excuses for 3+ years. But when I took a hard look at myself, at the relationship and the way I was treated- it all boiled down to those infamous six words and it was true: He was NOT that into me.

I know this is a rant, and some of you may know why this rant is occuring... but I find it hard to sit back and smile when I see a friend continuing down this road. But I will.

I'll smile. But not because I like him, but because I love her.

And when shit hits the fan, I'll console and love her, and I'll never let her see this post- because everything in here she's already been told- and I think, somewhere inside of her, it has to resonate.

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posted by Kellie @ 9:58 AM |

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