Friday, March 28, 2008

Put your thoughts on paper

I miss writing.

Strike that… I miss writing about things I actually want to write about. People and places and things that spark my emotion and ignite creativity. Memories and ex-lovers and passion and I-Just-watched-another-sex-in-the-city-for-the-hundreth-time-and-think-I’m-Carrie-Bradshaw moments. I miss carrying a notebook with me, for moments that strike me, for thoughts so fleeting that if I don’t bother to write them down right then, they’re gone forever (I recall some analogy I thought brilliant analogizing myself to a salt shaker… I didn’t write it down… another brilliant thought lost forever… sigh).

The ironic part is, I’m writing all the time. Writing about the ADA and my fake ass client and his fake ass claim against his fake ass employer. Writing. Re-writing. Researching. Re-researching. I’m pouring myself so far into reading and writing about the law and other people’s lives, I’m forgetting to feed the aspects of my own that make me whole. The aspects that inspire thought and creation. The thinking outside of the box. The writing that brings me to tears or laughter or any-emotion-but-boredom.

I need to feed my spirit. I’ve realized this as of late. Cleanse myself from the impurities- be that alcohol or gossip or craptastic fast food that has piled around my middle, ass and thighs. These are the things I can do without. ("come on"... sorry... bad joke... moving on)

I don’t want to go out to bars. I don’t want to hear “friends” talk about other “friends.” I don’t want taco bell.

(… okay… maybe a little…)

I was peace. Quiet. Solitude. I like the sound right now in my house… Eddie asleep on his (waaaaaaay too expensive) bed in the corner of the room. I’m sitting in J’s grandpa’s easy chair by the fireplace. J is next to me, writing as well. Normalcy. The sound of fingers hitting the keyboard, the way J rubs his face when he’s thinking- covering his mouth, as if to hold the thoughts and words from escaping before he gets them down on “paper.” This is who we are. And I love it.

I love us.

I love this night.

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posted by Kellie @ 10:16 PM |


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