Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Maintenance level: High

Stephanie Klein notes that you are either a bath girl or a shower girl. It’s like being a cat person or a dog person. Baths imply luxury, “me time,” soaps, bath salts and bubbles. All things girl are poured into a bath. Candles and music are a must, and reading my candlelight. Exfoliating, leg shaving, re-moisturizing and pumice stones invade the bathroom, along with more smells than Emeril’s kitchen… (mmm… Emeril)… I sort of have a crush on him... weird.... anyway...

Showers are efficient. The occasional loofah and delicious smelling soap are the only indulgences in a shower. Exfoliation? Who has time. Showers are for morning, when you’re rushing to get out the door and your Too-Much-Money-Latte-Hold-the-Cream-Add-the-Mocha-Hold-The-Eggnog-whatever. Showers at night are because you feel gross or want to save time in the morning. Showers are practical.

I’m a half breed. Showers in the morning, baths at night. I never knew that my liking for baths was indicative of the fact that

I. am. High. Maintenance.

The dreaded two little words words. High Maintenance. No one wants to be high maintenance, even girls who admit to it. Sure, they may own up "I'm high maintenance, so what... if he doesn't want to deal with it, he's not worth my time." But seriously. This is just a defense- an attitude developed over a period of time to protect against the judgment of others- the men who just won't deal with it- the guys who never call back. It's like making a joke about being fat before someone else can. Protection. We all do it. We thrive on it. Survival of the fittest right?

So now I realize that my affinity for bath beads and fizzy bath bombs might be a warning sign (in pink) above my head “BATH GIRL- STAY AWAY!” HIGH MAINTENACE- WARNING!


I like baths. I like warm water, swirled in pink, dusted glitter and scenting with roses. I like the quiet, the candles (note: every woman looks better in candlelight- it's a fact), the pampering.

I like to be pampered. I like fine dining. I like little dogs. I like taxis to subways and subways to buses. I actually hate buses. A lot. I like steaks, but hate burgers. I like wine, but hate cheap liquors. I like nice clothes (not that I ever get to wear them), shoes and expensive make up. I demand attention- all of the time- from everyone. And after enjoying all of these things... I like baths.

High Maintenance.... damn yo. When did that happen?


posted by Kellie @ 8:16 AM |


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