Sunday, October 12, 2008

2L life is... slow.

This year is passing at a snail’s pace. Last year was a blur of stress, confusion, motivation and a lot of determination. This year is harder. My motivation is lower, when it should be higher- I see the light at the end of the tunnel- I have a job with a firm I fell in love with. I want to work harder, but I miss those parts of myself I lost a little bit last year. I missed coming home to spend the evening with J and Eddie and Lizzy. They make me smile when all else feels lost. I missed writing and reading books that make me stay up until 4am just because I need to finish. I missed going “home” on weekends and dorking around with my friends and family. I missed spending Saturday with friends and college football Saturdays (WE ARE PENN STATE!!!!) and Colts Sundays (we’ll get it together…). I missed so much last year and this year, well, I don’t want to miss anything. This year I’m “missing” going out to the bars. I’ve “missed” drinking and losing half of my Saturday and Sunday because I feel like crap. I’ve “missed” stressing until I’m in tears, and waking up in the middle of the night because I still don’t know what was going on in Contracts. Friendships have changed, some have stayed the same, and some barely even exist anymore. And, in all honestly, I think I’m okay with it. I learned a long time ago that people come and go and the people who want to stay in my life and are the friendships worth fighting for. The others might not have truly existed in the first place.

So, this year I plan to work hard, but I’m not giving up my life. I refuse to give everything of myself and feel hollow, even when I see the “A”s when we get grades. It’s weird though- I’ve had a lot of fun and don’t they say “time flies…”????

Apparently law school didn’t get that memo.

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posted by Kellie @ 9:50 AM |

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